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> /open XJ-9041 TEST LOGS
The following are records of tests aimed at either the termination or assessment of Anomaly XJ-9041.
Item in question: One (1) standard issue Beretta Nano 9mm Handgun
Test Record: Test subject discharged several rounds of ammunition into Anomaly XJ-9041's head, neck and chest. Few bullets pierced the skin of the anomaly. Test subject then became partially immersed in a corrosive, blood-like substance without any observation of the substance being in the chamber prior or being applied to his body. Test subject later died of injuries.
Item in question: Hydraulic press
Test Record: Anomaly XJ-9041 forcibly introduced to prepped trap chamber. Press activated without incident. XJ-9041 made no attempt at escape. As the press made contact with the anomaly's body, mechanisms within the press seized up causing several malfunctions ending with a small explosion of the hydraulic press, causing two fatalities among the testing staff. XJ-9041 was unharmed. Later analysis showed gears showed signs of being in contact with severe amounts of heat.
Item in question: █████W ██████████ cutting laser
Test Record: After multiple attempts, the main body of XJ-9041 was successfully bisected into parts that were equal in mass. Dead scraps were removed from the room while the two halves regenerated. Surface fluctuations indicative of internal modification were noted, but all external changes occurred and disappeared far too quickly to be adequately described. High-energy bioluminescent organs on the face, spine, and forelimbs were observed as well on both specimens, usually forming, pulsing, and disappearing again over the course of a few seconds.
At T+35:42 hours, the newest specimen of XJ-9041 simultaneously collapsed on the floor and all vital signs ceased.
Item in question: 60 MT thermonuclear bomb
Test Record: N/A
Additional Notes: Yeah, fuck no. "Nuke 'em" is never a good option for these kinds of things. For God's sake, this thing claims to be a master of Hell, and you think, "hey let's give him a shitload of fire"? ~Command
Item in question: Phenomenon #061
Test Record: Phenomenon #061 was led to XJ-9041's chamber through misdirection at the cost of ██ personnel. Once inside the chamber, the two subjects were locked in. After approximately 45 seconds, all audio and video equipment failed simultaneously, presumably due to Phenomenon #061's previously observed abilities in disrupting electronic equipment. After 2 minutes, one of the two subjects, presumably Phenomenon #061, issued several sounds at extremely high volume. Sound extended across several wavelengths, reported as “the most god-awful roar” by staff, followed by 16 hours of both Anomaly XJ-9041 and Phenomenon #061 screaming and laughing at irregular intervals. After three hours of silence, the chamber was reopened. XJ-9041 seemed unharmed and Phenomenon #061 was nowhere to be found.
Item in question: Phenomenon #192
Test Record: Anomaly XJ-9041 introduced to chamber containing one specimen of Phenomenon #192. Immediately, Anomaly XJ-9041 attacked and killed the specimen of Phenomenon #192, before taking the tripod creature and mounting it on his own arm. This happened at such a rapid pace that research staff had not even closed the doors to the chamber, allowing XJ-9041 to quickly escape the test chamber and attack several research personnel. XJ-9041 made an attempt at escape, but was pinned under a tank a local guard drove through a wall in an attempt to subdue it. Tripod creature effectively terminated without incident.
Item in question: One human child
Test Record: Child introduced to XJ-9041 chamber. Child began to scream and cry when XJ-9041 was introduced into the cell. Subject was immediately and messily devoured.
Additional Notes: Hm, well that didn't work out. Usually the thing doesn't pounce on prey that quickly. Maybe it was the crying? ~Guest Researcher
Item in question: One human child, drugged to cancel extreme emotional reaction
Test Record: Child stood and smiled, giggling at Anomaly XJ-9041 with no sign of fear. Subject devoured messily.
Additional Notes: Alright, well that was progress. Maybe something more along these lines and we can get somewhere, eh? ~Guest Researcher
Item in question: Guest Researcher
Test Record: Subject screamed in terror and pounded on the door to the test facility, begging to be let out. Anomaly XJ-9041 appeared to chortle and apparently says something to the Guest Researcher, audio equipment pick up no discernible sound. Guest Researcher ceases to pound on door and resolves into screaming. Subject devoured it messily three minutes after being introduced.
Additional Notes: Yeah, someone get me the tapes to this log please? I'd like to fall asleep to it every night. ~Commander
Item in question: Phenomenon #941
Test Record: Phenomenon introduced to cell containing XJ-9041. Seeming to take notice on the lack of preparations meant to accommodate its corrosive abilities, Phenomenon #941 immediately escapes the chamber without in any way interacting with Anomaly XJ-9041.
Additional Notes: Can somebody tell me why we didn't just throw XJ-9041 into the cell we already retrofitted to contain 941? ~Command
Item in question: Commander bedrockperson
Test Record: Anomaly XJ-9041 introduced to testing area. Commander is introduced to testing area. The commander and XJ-9041 stare at each other for approximately three minutes. bedrockperson calmly walks out of the testing area as XJ-9041 continues to stare. Commander attempts to open door of testing area. Door of testing area determined to be locked. Commander pulls out a physgun, before forcing the door open with it, keeping his eyes on XJ-9041 the whole time. XJ-9041 continues to stare. After exiting the area, Commander engages emergency secondary lockdown doors and declares a partial containment situation. XJ-9041 does not react. bedrockperson proceeds to experiment observation center.
Two minutes later, XJ-9041 somehow kills Dr. ███████, the project head, by broken neck caused by blunt force trauma against the control panel, and several large lacerations despite remaining in the testing area.
Additional Notes: This is the official story and we're sticking to it. The alternative, that someone tried to murder Phenomenon #061 by deliberately putting him in the same room as Anomaly XJ-9041, is completely inconceivable. ~Command
Yeah, let's not do that again. Capiche? ~Commander
Item in question: One (1) copy of the King James Bible
Test Record: Anomaly XJ-9041 picks up the book and begins to read. After going past a certain point, currently ascertained to be the end of the Book of Malachi, the subject begins screaming and ripping the book apart. Video feed cuts out. Sonar-based video feeds reveal XJ-9041 severely "wounded" and huddled in the southwest corner, apparently upset, jumping in place while clawing at its face and screaming.
Item in question: Anomaly JD-9836
Test Record: JD-9836 is introduced to XJ-9041's chamber. After being released, JD-9836 attempts to consume XJ-9041. In retaliation, XJ-9041 places its hands in JD-9836's mouth and snaps his head in half from the jaw. JD-9836 terminated.
Additional Notes: Huh. Well that worked out, I guess. ~Command
Item in question: BDRK-Model Interdimensional Portal Gun.
Test Record: Test subject introduced to area with Portal Gun. Weapon is discharged successfully, XJ-9041 is enveloped by the portal. XJ-9041 is successfully sent to another dimension. Termination deemed successful.
Twenty-three hours later, within XJ-9041's chamber, high spikes of energy consistent with that of a temporal rift are detected, followed by flashing green lights around the chamber, before a stable portal is seen opening in the center of the chamber. Moments later, a stout humanoid figure appearing to be made of some unknown reflective material can be seen dragging Anomaly XJ-9041 from the portal back into the chamber. Strong ferromagnetism is detected. The humanoid returns to the portal without XJ-9041 and the rift is somehow closed.
Additional Notes: Well shit. ~Command
Item in question: High altitude impact
Test Record: N/A
Additional Notes: Seriously?! Who the fuck denied this test? Put the damn thing in a plane and push it out! What the fuck guys?! ~Guest Observer Mattan
Item in question: Stock freezing gun
Test Record: Test subject sent into chamber with freezing gun. Several shots of the gun are discharged into XJ-9041, creating small patches of ice on the anomaly's skin. As per instructions, the test subject then attempted to test the alt fire on the anomaly. The entire ammo cartridge was condensed and shot as a single bullet. The bullet bounces off XJ-9041 and hits the test subject. Test subject freezes to death before security teams can get into the chamber.
Additional Notes: Look I'm sorry, a man is dead, but I can't be the only one who found that last part fucking hilarious. ~Commander
Item in question: One (1) copy of the film Strange Circus
Test Record: [REDACTED]
Additional Notes: OH MY FUCKING GOD. ~Command
Item in question: One (1) SPAS-12 shotgun
Test Record: Subject enters with shotgun, is immediately eviscerated by XJ-9041. XJ-9041 then proceeds to take the shotgun and cause 20 fatalities amongst research staff and nearby personnel before containment could be reestablished.
Additional Notes: What is wrong with you people? ~Commander
Item in question: One copy of The Turner Diaries
Test Record: Subject granted book. Subject reads book. Guess what happens.
Additional Notes: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PEOPLE! STOP. GIVING HIM. LITERATURE! He's been spouting the N-word like it'll grant him eternal life! ~Commander
Item in question: Chainsaw
Test Record: Test subject in power armor enters the chamber and primes the chainsaw. XJ-9041 takes notice and attempts to attack. The test subject dashes out of the way and strikes XJ-9041 in the neck with the saw, no discernible damage, the fight continues. What followed was a 3½ hour altercation described by staff as "the most fucking epic thing ever", ending with armistice from both parties. Test concluded.
Additional Notes: Someone needs to send me a tape of this. For science. ~Commander